Discipline of Perseverance – Ch. 13

Posted on May 19, 2012 by Pastor Ron

Have you noticed how many want to take the easy way out?  It is hard to find people who are willing to do hard work over a long period of time.  As we come to chapter 13, Hughes challenges us to run well and finish the race of walking with God, even if it is difficult.  He takes us to Hebrews 12:1-3.  Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.  3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.   I love the imagery of witnesses at a race and the boost of energy that gives the competitor.  At our Friday night softball games, when the stands are full, the team has more energy.  (And we have the best fans in the city!)  The author is reminding us of all who have gone before and encouraging us to find strength in their witness.

The first point from these verses is to Divest!  We are to throw off hindrances and sin.  Both keep us from running the race with perseverance.  My fear is that I will not notice my hindrances and I will rationalize my sin.  Hughes gives us a number of examples to get us thinking about what might be a besetting sin that continues to be a weight on us.  Things like jealously, pessimism, lust, pride, anger, lying, and a critical, proud spirit can slip in a go undetected.  We must be disciplined to seek God and use the mirror of His Word to expose sin.  There is a powerful example of how sin can beset us in the Venus fly-trap.

“When the captive is entirely at the plant’s mercy, the edges of the leaf fold inward, forming a closed fist.  Two hours later, the fly is an empty sucked skin, and the hungry fist unfolds its delectable mouth for another easy entanglement.  That is a truly terrifying allegory.”

Hughes challenges us to name our sins before God.  We need to get serious about removing the things that hold us back as sin will trap us and suck us dry.  Try praying Psalm 139:23-24.  Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24       And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! Did you pray that verse?  If not, I challenge you to do it now before you read on.  How serious will we be to not only deal with sin, but also hindrances.  We would never run a race carrying a backpack.

Hughes’ second point is to Run!  We need to keep running even if we are tired, discouraged, impatient, or just ready to quit.  Men, discipline means to keep going spiritually whether we feel like it or not.  When we struggle to pray or be in the Word, keep doing it!  Hughes words it this way, “The sense of biblical ‘perseverance’ is patient fortitude, patiently ‘gutting it out.’”  I appreciated the reminder that we all run different races.  It is sometimes hard to see someone “running” on flat, easy ground and not be envious and want to quit.  Each runner, runs where God has them and for His purposes.  Persevere with your walk.

The third point is vital: Focus!  We are to be “looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.”  As we walk with Christ through a fallen world, so many things want to grab our focus and attention.  We must diligently keep asking the question, “Am I looking to Jesus?”  “Am I doing all things for His glory?”  He was a perfect example of perseverance in the severest of trials as He looked to the Father for strength and saw the joy of doing the Father’s work.  Praise God He persevered and secured our salvation.  When we are going through the darkest times of our lives, we have the greatest opportunities to show Christ to others by keeping our focus on Him.  Learn from Peter and don’t let the waves capture your attention.  They are simply hurdles that Jesus will help you get past.  “Those who look away from Christ – the end and goal of our race – will not finish well.”  What purpose does God have for you right now?  How can He be using you for His glory?  That focuses our attention forward and helps us run.

The final point is Consider!  In verse 3, we are given the key to not following over exhausted in our walk.  We need to consider Christ and the opposition He faced.  How did He face them?  How did He persevere?  Why did He persevere?  Follow Him!

So how is your perseverance?  Are you tired in your faith or ready to run?  Remember to start by taking care of any sins or hindrances that keep you from maturing in your faith.  If you need to get another man to hold you accountable, do it!  We stand together and rarely alone.  Also, what does it really mean to fix your eyes on Jesus?  Think through your time and the things you think about.  What consumes you?  What are some practical things you do to fix your eyes on Jesus.  Comment below and share with each other ways we can focus on the goal and finish well.

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Discipline of Work – Ch. 12

Posted on May 3, 2012 by Andrew Gilmore

Below is a guest post by Terry Hall, the chairman of VBC’s deacon board.

“I’m alive, awake, alert, enthusiastic!” How many of us wake up in the morning with this thought in mind? Even though this is a Girl Scout song learned years ago by our daughters, it is definitely gender-neutral when applied to our work… our “jobs”. If we took a poll at our place of employment, would those with whom we work describe our work ethic with this phrase?

Pastor Hughes describes “work” not as part of the curse which accompanied the fall, but as a mandate from God, an “immense dignity”. It is part of what we do, and who we are as human beings. The author describes post-Garden-of-Eden “work” more as nature being uncooperative (resulting in “painful toil”), than work in and of itself being inherently unrewarding and tedious.

From experience, we all know that work CAN be rewarding, even fun at times. When we exercise our talents by working in an area in which we are gifted (such as woodworking, mechanical trouble-shooting and repairs, writing, teaching, ….) we can experience the “dignity” and even a joy in our efforts. When we hike, we have discovered that no matter how magnificent the hike (our “work”) , some part of the hike is always “just labor” needed to complete the task . The same is true of our daily work routine. What we do at our jobs can be exciting and productive and adrenaline-producing. However, Scripture is quite clear the obligation of a man is to work and to provide for his family, even if the required tasks are less than fulfilling or glamorous:

2 Thessalonians 3:6, 10 In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching you received from us….For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”

1 Timothy 5:8: Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

The issue of how much priority to place on our work and our obligation to provide does not have a simple resolution…There are many items on the menu of “life priorities”: God, church, family, work, others, self…. If “providing” for our families includes teaching and modeling values and character in our families in addition to meeting their physical “needs”, how do we balance the various demands placed on a man who desires to follow Scripture and “provide” for his family? Even though it can be difficult to know how to adequately execute our duties, Scripture offers much in the way of principles to follow….

Deut 24:5: “If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.” The needs of a man’s family were given first priority when considering public duties, even military service.

1 Timothy 3: 4-5: “[The overseer] must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)”.

A man cannot accomplish this if he abdicates his husband and father responsibilities to others because he is too busy “providing” food & shelter while abandoning teaching and managing his family.

Titus 1:6: “ An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.

While a man’s adult children are responsible for their own behaviors and values, the man’s role in shaping his family’s value system should be reflected in his (the father’s) life priorities.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

This would involve being present for the sitting down and walking along the road, and the lying down and the getting up. Our households must be dedicated, leading by the example of servant leadership, to the eternal truths of Scripture. This cannot be accomplished in absentia.

One of my best summers as a youth was spent working with my dad between school terms. We spent almost 3 months working side by side. I watched and participated in his work. I was an eye-witness to his work ethic, his attitude, his behaviors, and his commitments not only to his work but to his family as well. As is the case with many fathers and sons, most of what I learned that summer was CAUGHT rather than TAUGHT. My father’s actions spoke much more eloquently and powerfully than thousands of instructional words. I learned from my father MUCH more than I could ever have hoped for if he, instead of modeling behaviors, handed me enough money to “provide” for me for a lifetime. Had these lessons not be learned early, I would be a much different man than I am today.

My dad’s work ethic also served as a witness of and to our Lord. Those with whom we worked knew that our family professed Christianity. Had our commitments to (in the author’s words) “energy, enthusiasm, whole-heartedness, and excellence” been marginal or lacking, our ability to reflect our commitment to our faith and to our God would have been compromised.

While there are many men in our community whose work reflects their commitment to God, a very recent example involved one of the men of our congregation. He has been doing some remodeling work at the home of a mutual acquaintance. When we visited the homeowner recently, the homeowner couldn’t wait to take us to the kitchen, and the dining room, and the bathroom, and the patio, and the pool, to show us the work done by our brother in the Lord. The words of the homeowner included, “fantastic”, “beautiful work”, “excellent”, “skilled”, “good”, “reliable”. This man’s work ethic most certainly impacted his client and reflected Paul’s admonition in his letter to the Colossians:

Colossians 3:23-24: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

In conclusion, God knew that Joshua (and men universally) would need this encouragement and reminder: “Be strong and courageous.” Joshua’s “job” was to lead the Israelites during challenging times. Joshua’s commitment to the task which God Himself had given him resulted in the following unshakeable resolve:

Joshua 24:15: “But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . . . But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

May each of us be just as determined as we lead our families.

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Discipline of Tongue – Ch. 11

Posted on April 26, 2012 by Pastor Ron

James 3:5-6  So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.   Chapter 11 focuses on the discipline of taming the tongue and using it for God’s glory rather than a tool of destruction.  As James warns us, taming the tongue is extremely difficult.  Hughes begins with an example of how powerful our words are.  “What power the written or spoken word has!  Nations have risen and nations have fallen to the tongue.  Lives have been elevated and lives have been cast down by human speech.  Goodness has flowed like a sweet river from our mouths, and so has the cesspool.”  We come to this chapter recognizing the power of the tongue in our own lives and in the lives of our families and all we come in contact with.

The verses from James above remind us of how much destruction the tongue can cause.  A small spark can create a huge forest fire with all of its damage.  Every year during fire season we hear of a fire started by a small spark.  The same is true of a small seemingly trivial ill-spoken word.  We see from the verses in James that Satan himself will use it to destroy.  Our destructive words are fueled by evil.  I can still remember some harsh words and the effects they had.  Those are painful lessons.

We see a number of ways the tongue causes damage.  The first is gossip.  Oh, gossip is so tasty to nibble on isn’t it?  As men, we may think of this as an issue with the fairer gender, but we also like to hear things and like to be in the know.  The sense of knowledge and power / control that comes with knowledge is very tempting for us.  Prov 18:8  The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body. Be careful not to gossip and to stop others when they are gossiping about a situation you are not part of and don’t have any part in the resolution of it.  Beware of the “I’m telling you so you can pray” temptation.

Innuendo -  We may automatically jump to sexual innuendo which is extremely damaging to ourselves and the hearer in the area of purity, but innuendo also includes technically telling the truth, but in reality painting someone in a bad light.  “I won’t even tell you what I heard about  ________”  What was your first thought?  It was probably that I had heard something negative about a person.  In reality, perhaps it was something good and I’ve just painted someone in a bad light.

Flattery – “Flattery means saying to a person’s face what you would never say behind his or her back.”  Hughes is not suggesting that we don’t compliment people or encourage them, but rather not be deceptive or manipulative with it.  We are to be consistent in how we speak of people.  Are we serious enough to sing with the Psalmist, “May the LORD cut off all flattering lips, the tongue that makes great boasts, 4 those who say, “With our tongue we will prevail, our lips are with us; who is master over us?”” (Psalm 12:3-4)

Criticism – “Fault-finding seems endemic to the Christian Church.  Perhaps this is because a taste of righteousness can be easily perverted into an overweening sense of self-righteousness and judgmentalism.”  This is a strong statement, but I believe a true one.  It is easy to find fault in what someone else is doing, but much harder to see it within ourselves.  We criticize to avoid our own weaknesses.  Men, do you find yourself first noticing faults and all the ways someone in their ministry or work could have done better rather than all the good they are doing for the kingdom?  This is sin!  It is not a talent, it is not a gift, it is not being administrative, it is being self-centered.  The root of a critical spirit is the belief that “I know best”  and “that’s not how I would have done it.”  This is not to say that healthy constructive feedback is not helpful.  Feedback is one of our traits of a servant leader at Village, but it is to be done in love, with fear and trembling and balanced with a healthy dose of encouragement.  I have seen many people with incredible potential for the kingdom of God derailed by a critical spirit.

Diminishment – We are not to speak in a way that runs down or diminishes another.  This can include some of the items above, but also includes when we use truth to diminish another.  Two quotes stood out to me.  “What people like this do not know is that most people are painfully aware of their own faults – and would so like to overcome them – and are trying very hard to do so.  Then someone mercilessly assaults them believing they are doing their spiritual duty – and, oh, the hurt!”  We can easily prevent the Holy Spirit from working by trying to be the Holy Spirit.  “Others imagine that their spirituality and sensitivity equips them to pull others from their pedestals and unmask their hypocrisies.”  Usually when I find myself doing this, it is my own hypocrisy that I am attempting to hide.  Don’t we usually come down the hardest in others on the very things we are weakest in?

Hughes then writes how the tongue reveals the true state of our walk. James 1:26 says, “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. “  Like the man who wanted to hear what the pastor said when he hit his thumb with the hammer, our tongue away from church reveals our surrender to God.

The tongue also can be used to praise God and declare the gospel.  It is through the tongue that we can tell others how Jesus took our place on the cross and paid the price for our sins.  It is through the tongue and our relationships with each that we can speak God’s truth and help others in the process of sanctification.  We can encourage and bless others.  We can cast vision for our children.  We can worship God Almighty!  We can confess.  The tongue can be a mighty tool for God.  How have you used your words this week to glorify God?  You can speak words to your family tonight and use your words for God!  Hughes ends with a list of ways to discipline ourselves.

  • To perpetually and lovingly speak the truth in love
  • To refrain from being party to or a conduit for gossip
  • To refrain from insincere flattery
  • To refrain from running down another
  • To refrain from degrading humor
  • To refrain from sarcasm
  • To memorize (and quote) Scriptures which teach the proper use of the tongue.

and a couple of more

  • To get into the habit of speaking words of blessing and encouragement to our families and others.  (added)
  • To find ways to speak the truth of salvation to others.  (added)

Let’s be men that discipline our tongue and not let hell itself fuel it!

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Discipline of Integrity – Ch. 10

Posted on April 20, 2012 by Pastor Ron

When I was in the computer field, we would use the term “data integrity.”  We were referring to data that was accurate and consistent.  It was good data.  This chapter discusses “human integrity.”  Are we men of integrity?  Are we consistent, solid (as in building integrity), and true?  Hughes begins by painting a picture of how rare integrity is.  91% of survey respondents in America admitted to lying regularly!  25% would abandon their families for 10 million dollars.  23% would become a prostitute for a week.  Over half admit they regularly call in sick when they are not.  These statistics are staggering.  They show an undermining of character and truth in our culture.  I stand with Hughes in saying that character matters and even little breaches of character undermine the whole.  I once heard a story about a woman who was asked if she would be a prostitute for 1 million dollars.  She said she probably would.  Then she was asked if she would for $10.  She was outraged and said, “What kind of woman do you think I am?”  The questioner answered, “we’ve already established that, now I’m just finding out your price.”  Men, are you men of integrity that are solid no matter the price?  Two other points that Hughes made were eye-opening.  First, statistics show that the bulk of the blame for declining ethics and integrity is on the men.  Second, “there is little statistical difference between the ethical practices of the religious and the nonreligious.”  There were some exceptions, but Christians are almost as likely as non-Christians to do the following:

  • Falsify tax returns
  • Plagiarize
  • Bribe to get a building permit
  • Illegally copy a computer program
  • Steal time
  • Exaggerate a produce
  • Tell people what they want to hear
  • Selectively obey traffic laws

As we read this list and the statistics, the goal is not to think of all the people we know that this applies to, but to use it as a mirror into our own lives.

Hughes then takes us to look at what God has to say about integrity.  The story of Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5 serves as a serious reminder to the importance of integrity.  They lied to the church and to the Holy Spirit and they paid for it with their lives.  “Deception wounds the Body of Christ – makes it dysfunctional – and is a sin against God!”  Acts 5:4 says, “You have not lied to man but to God.”  When we see our deceptions not just as little untruths against each other, but as lies against God, we begin to see the seriousness of the problem.  Integrity goes far beyond just a simple question of lying or not.  Hughes says, “The Church needs people who not only refrain from blatant lying, but are free from hypocrisy.”  Are our lives consistent and true in every area?

So what does integrity look like?  Psalm 15 gives  great picture.

      1    O LORD, who shall sojourn in your tent?
Who shall dwell on your holy hill?
2       He who walks blamelessly and does what is right
and speaks truth in his heart;
3       who does not slander with his tongue
and does no evil to his neighbor,
nor takes up a reproach against his friend;
4       in whose eyes a vile person is despised,
but who honors those who fear the LORD;
who swears to his own hurt and does not change;
5       who does not put out his money at interest
and does not take a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things shall never be moved.

Hughes summarizes integrity into several points.

  • Integrity demands that all speech be intentionally true.  (Eph 4:15)
  • A man of integrity never cheats, steals or defrauds.  (Prov 20:10, 11:1, 20:17)
  • A man of integrity keeps his word. (Psalm 15:4, Gal 5:22)  Do we follow through?  Are we faithful?  Do we do what we say?
  • A man of integrity is a man of principle.  He has the courage to stand up for what is right no matter the cost.

This is a list that is challenging for every one of us every day!  The next section helps us understand that while integrity may be costly, it also has it’s rewards.  It produces good character.  As we are known as men of character, we are reflecting God’s glory.  When we are men of integrity, the world can’t help but take notice.  “We can hardly overstate the importance of integrity to a generation of believers which is so much like the world in its ethical conduct.  The world is dying for us to have integrity!”  Other wonderful benefits include a good conscience (which helps in so many areas) and greater intimacy with God.

There wasn’t as much in the chapter about how to build integrity as the answer in many ways is Nike’s slogan, “JUST DO IT!”  Stop lying, deceiving, being hypocritical, not following through, and not taking a stand.  I thought a couple of points were particularly helpful.  We must be committed to God’s Word and that His Word is the standard by which we live.  That is the line!  I loved the quote from Pippert that challenges us to not even open the door for a loss of integrity the first time.  “Not doing something for the first time is a tremendous bulwark against not doing it later.”  Being disciplined enough to immediately admit when we have been careless with the truth will also help us be disciplined in integrity.  It only takes a couple of times of going back to someone and admitting that we were not entirely truthful, to make us think about it before we speak!  Men, let’s make honesty a habit and be men of integrity.  Let’s be solid, truthful, and consistent not even letting the little deceptions come into play.  Integrity isn’t integrity unless it applies to our whole man.  This isn’t the first time we’ve talked about integrity (see post here) and I doubt it will be the last.  It is one of our struggles as men and one of our greatest opportunities to shine brightly for our Lord.

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Discipline of Worship – Ch. 9

Posted on April 6, 2012 by Andrew Gilmore

What do you think of when you hear the word “worship”? Most American Christians would immediately associate worship with the portion of a service or meeting that focuses on singing. In fact, singing and worship have become so exclusively intertwined that it’s hard to think of anything other than singing when we hear the word “worship.” Perhaps this is why R. Kent Hughes says that, “[m]any Christians have never thought through the meaning and importance of worship.” I suspect that that is true, but what seems more important to me is not if we’ve ever thought it through, but whether we continue to think it through. I was challenged in this chapter to think through many of my assumptions about worship and worship services, as well as my preparation for worship.

One very important word hit me smack between the eyes as I was reading the chapter. That word was “spectators.” I played sports in high school and still enjoy playing them today. I also have my favorite teams in baseball, basketball and football and love to cheer for them and attend games. So I know what a spectator is. Essentially, a spectator is one who watches, i.e., one who does not participate. Is that what we’ve become, especially on Sundays during the worship service? Have we left the work to the “professionals”? I sincerely hope not, and yet I can see places in my own thinking that lead to making church a spectator sport.  I begin to base judgments about the service based on entertainment values, rather than biblical values. I determine goodness or badness based entirely on my opinion and how things made me feel. Subtly, worship becomes a fickle popularity contest to see what or whom can vie for my attention successfully.

So a very real application of this would be to think through how we will evaluate (eww, such a bad word here, but the best I can think of) Easter Sunday in two days. Will we come away on Sunday liking or disliking the service based merely on how many songs were sung or if “my” songs were sung? Will we evaluate the service based on our feelings about the message, the special music, the distracting baby crying, etc.? I pray that we are rescued out of our natural shallowness regarding worship and be raised up to see that “worship is the number one priority of the church.” Hughes adds that “God desires worship above all else.” If that is true (and I think it is) how can we stand back and just “spectate”? We must dive in, participate, get involved, commune.

I loved Hughes’ appeal to the massive amount of space set aside in the Old Testament to worship. The Bible includes an entire songbook, 150 of them! Those “boring” parts of the Bible in Exodus and Leviticus are actually God saying, “Worship is so important to me that I want you to get it right!” Do we want to get it right? Sometimes I think that all we want to do is get it done.

Another important theme from the chapter is Hughes’ emphasis that worship doesn’t just happen. Now, it is true that all of life is worship, but here he we are mainly focusing on the disciplined attention to worship on Sunday morning with God’s people. Of course worship can happen spontaneously and often does! But if we only worship spontaneously, we sacrifice depth and sincerity. It’s like saying that I don’t need to exercise regularly because I’m sure I’ll be exercising spontaneously soon. Maybe. Or maybe not. Regular disciplined exercise will actually enhance spontaneous exercise. In the same way, regular disciplined worship will actually enhance spontaneous worship.

And so, Hughes urges us to come on Sundays prepared to worship. He repeats what my old music pastor used to say, “Sunday morning begins Saturday night.” What if we guarded our Saturday evenings because Sunday mornings were so important to us? I pray that reading this chapter will have reminded us of the importance of the Sunday gathering for corporate worship.

Hughes also points out something that is all too often absent in my own heart, and that is the expectancy that should accompany our thoughts of Sunday worship together. He notes the difference in times of individual worship at home and times of corporate worship with God’s people. This was brought home by Martin Luther: “At home in my own house there is no warmth or vigor in me, but in the church when the multitude is gathered together, a fire is kindled in my heart and it breaks its way through.” However, there cannot be real, fervent, continued expectancy if we do not know the One we are expecting to meet. Hughes rightly says that the “better informed we are, the better we can worship.” How much better equipped we are to worship when we know the attributes and character of the One we are worshiping. And of course, the intellectual meets the emotional as “[t]rue worship flows from the inside out.” Indeed, Eugene Peterson said, “Worship is an act which develops feelings for God, not a feeling for God which is expressed in an act of worship.” Hughes also points out that worship requires work. There are so many distractions, both external and internal, and we must put our nose to the grindstone to focus on worship.

There were other things I liked in the chapter, but I guess I just came away with a renewed appreciation for the greatness of God presented in the right worship of him in the assembly of sinner-saints he has redeemed. Men, what are we doing to elevate the importance of the corporate worship gathering on Sundays? Are we willing to sacrifice that movie, that game, that video game, that whatever-it-is, in order to prepare ourselves to come together before the Lord of the Universe and worship him in spirit and in truth? I confess my slackness in this area and resolve to work, to sweat, to labor at prioritizing the Sunday worship gathering. Will you join me?

 

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Discipline of Prayer – Ch. 8

Posted on April 4, 2012 by Pastor Ron

In chapter 8, we come to a topic that is key to a healthy relationship with Christ, but always can be improved.  To spend a healthy chunk of time in prayer can be so difficult in the busyness of life that we find ourselves frantically running around in.  Hughes challenges us to think of prayer as not only essential, but constant.

The chapter begins by showing how Paul connects prayer with the armor of spiritual warfare in Eph. 6:18.  “praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,”  Out of this verse, Hughes draws five helpful principles of being disciplined in prayer.

The first is that we should be praying in the Spirit, or as Hughes puts it, “In -Spirited Prayer.”  I’ve often sailed over that phrase without giving it much thought.  How do we pray in the Spirit?  He is not talking about the gift of tongues here, but rather how every believer, every day, is to rely on the Holy Spirit to empower their prayer lives.  The first way he mentions this happens is to allow the Holy Spirit to tell us what to pray for.  This means we pray to be told what to pray for!  What a great way to look at it.  In our small minds, we may not know what to pray for or how to pray.  So rather than settle for a weak prayer life, let’s ask the Holy Spirit to reveal and direct our prayers.  As He does, our hearts are being transformed to be seeing God’s heart for prayer.  The second way the Holy Spirit empowers us is to give us strength and energy to pray.  Prayer takes work.  It takes discipline.  It takes the power of the Holy Spirit.  We often are ineffective in prayer because we are attempting to pray from our own power.  The very act of prayer is to acknowledge that we do not have the power and ability.  Today, ask the Holy Spirit to put on your heart what to pray for.

The second principle of prayer from Eph 6:18 is that prayer is to be continual.  Paul says that we are to be praying “at all times.”  1 Thes 5:17 says, “pray without ceasing.”  Again, the question is how?  Do I stop working, driving, eating, and sleeping?  Hughes explains it by saying “the prayer called for here is not so much the articulation of words as the posture of the heart.”  We are always looking up for guidance.  We are always conversing with God as we go about our daily duties.  Praying continually is a mindset that always sees our need for God in everything we do.  There is nothing that we have “mastered” so that we do not need God.  “We are to have a perpetual inner dialog with God.  We must always be looking up, even when driving to work or mowing the lawn.”  I long for this, but I get distracted.  Lord, make my weak heart constantly converse with you.

The third prayer principle is “Varied Prayer.”  We are to pray all kinds of prayers in Eph 6:18.  Hughes shares that different circumstances and situations will require different kinds of prayers.  There are times to pray prayers of worship.  There are times to give thanksgiving.  There are times for petitions and times to pour out our hearts and grief to God.  Don’t get into a rut in your prayer life!  The fourth principle is “Persistent Prayer.”  Paul says to keep on praying, to have perseverance.  “There is a mysterious efficacy to persistent prayer.”  We may not know how or when God chooses to answer persistent prayer, but we know He has commanded it and will respond to it.  My children are convinced that perseverance will help Daddy answer their requests.  For me it reveals my impatience that God is refining, but for God, it is a testament to our reliance and trust in Him.  His last paragraph is convicting.  “Men, do we pray with Scriptural persistence for our families?  For the Church?  Are there individuals, groups, causes, souls for which we hold up our hands in prayer?  There ought to be, for God answers persistent prayer.”  Don’t give up men.  We have seen souls come to Christ that have been prayed for for many, many years.  God’s timing is perfect.

The final principle is intercessory prayer.  Paul says to pray for all the saints.  Other believers are to have a large part of our prayers.  It is easy to think of prayer as our own personal wish list and treat God as our Santa Claus.  We counter this as we pray for others and their needs, when we pray for blessings for others.  We show our love for each other when we consistently are on our knees doing spiritual battle for brothers and sisters in Christ.

From here, Hughes gives some practical suggestions for how to be disciplined in our prayer lives.  The first is to keep a prayer list.  With every year that goes by, I am more and more dependent on lists to remember things.  Prayer is not any different.  Not only does it help us remember, but I liked how Hughes shared it helps to keep us on track.  When our minds wander, the list brings us back to being disciplined in prayer.  You might use a sheet of paper for this, or 3×5 cards like he recommends.  I use an Excel spreadsheet and keep information like the date of the request and the answers I see to the requests.  Do what works for you, but find a way to keep a list.

Other practical helps include finding a place where you can have some quiet and not be disturbed.  These are key!  I cannot have an effective prayer life with three little ones climbing all over me.  The answer for me is not to try to pray with them running around, but to find a quiet place and time.  That might mean getting up early, or staying up late.  I still remember as a child occasionally coming out into the family room early in the morning to see my dad kneeling with his elbows on a blue vinyl chair.  He was faithful in prayer.  Every day I could get up and still see two elbow imprints on that chair.  I knew dad prayed today!  That sent a powerful message to me of the importance and reality of a relationship with God.  The advice on time, posture, and length was also very helpful.  Find what facilitates prayer for you and do it.  Whatever it takes, do it!

At the end, Hughes brings us back to the fact that prayer is spiritual warfare.  As such, it takes work and diligence.  I loved several quotes in the last section, but this one drove home the seriousness of prayer for me.  “We must never wait until we feel like praying – otherwise we may never pray, unless, perhaps, we fall headfirst into an open well.  The context of Paul’s charge in Ephesians 6 is spiritual warfare – and that is what prayer is!  Christian men face the world – and fall on their knees.  Work and war, war and work – these are the words we must keep before us if we are to become men of prayer.”

Men, I end with a couple of questions.  How can we help each other persist in prayer? and What can I intercede with God Almighty for on your behalf?  We are men of the sword and of prayer.

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Discipline of Devotion – Ch. 7

Posted on March 24, 2012 by Pastor Ron

How is your devotional life?  Tough question sometimes!  In chapters 7 and 8, Hughes challenges us to be disciplined in our devotional life.  In this chapter, Hughes brings up several elements that ore sometimes not thought of when we think of devotion.  In chapter 8, he will challenge us in the area of prayer.  So how IS your devotional life?  As he begins this chapter, Hughes makes the assertion that we as men struggle with areas of devotion.  We could respond to this section with defensiveness, or we can choose to see this as a challenge and a discipline that we can work on in the gym of devotion.  As he begins the topic, his caution is good to remember.  “One’s prayer and devotional life cannot be reduced to a few simple rules.”  So if we are looking for a simple formula of a few rules to follow that will produce spiritual maturity, we will be disappointed.  Rather these are disciplines that if practiced with a heart seeking God will grow a heart devoted to God.

The first area Hughes encourages us to work on is the area of meditation.  This discipline is the process of deeply reading, listening to, and processing God’s Word.  It is more than just a quick reading, but “praying that He will blast through our granite-block heads so we truly hear God’s Word.”  It is incredibly easy to read a chapter or two and come away unchanged without even thinking of how God’s Word is intended to challenge and change us.  When we meditate however, we are mulling over and “muttering” God’s Word all day.  This allows God to apply His Word to every activity we are in.  If I am muttering God’s Word as I drive to work, it is in my mind when I am tempted to get angry or impatient.  If I am muttering God Ephesians 5 as I come home, I am much more likely to be present for my wife and children.  Meditating on God’s Word directly impacts everything we do!  This takes work.  It may mean printing a verse that you can take with you.  I agree with Hughes that it probably means memorizing a passage.  The title of our blog is Men of the Sword.  When we meditate, keep the Word on our lips all day, we are being men of the sword!  Hughes lists three effects of meditation, revival of our soul, wisdom, and it increases our faith.  I’m sold!  Joshua 1:8 says, “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” What verse will you meditate on this Monday?  “Murmur it. Memorize it. Pray it. Say it. Share it.”

The next area of devotion mentioned is the discipline of confession.  The discipline of confession is not so much a set time of the day exercise, but an anytime of the day exercise!  Whenever God reveals our sin to us, we are to stop and confess.  I appreciate Hughes’ instruction to be proactive and pray that God will reveal sin that needs to be dealt with.  “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” – Psalm 139:23-24.  Not allowing God to search us and deal with sin is like forgetting to take out the garbage under the sink – it stinks the next day and will until I take it out.  Unconfessed sin stinks up our lives and keeps God from working in our hearts.

The third area of devotion that Hughes brings up is adoration.  He is speaking of being disciplined and intentional in giving God reverence and worship.  I was particularly challenged with how concentration relates to reverence.  “Our minds must be fully engaged.  Luther said, ‘To let your face blabber one thing while your heart dwells on another is just tempting God . . . Any and every thing, if it is to be well done, demands the entire man, all his mind and faculties.’”  If we are to revere God, we must focus on Him.  I’ll be working on carving out more times of focus and concentration.  Hughes then encourages us to spend time contemplating God and His attributes and worshiping our Lord.  “The height of devotion is reached when reverence and contemplation produce passionate worship.”  I’m looking forward to worshiping with God’s people tomorrow morning!  Let’s come ready to revere God Almighty.

Finally, the last area of devotion mentioned is submission.  We often think of submission as what happens after devotion rather than part of devotion.  In Isaiah 6, Isaiah is awestruck at the glory of God.  Confession happens.  Worship happens.  And then in verse 8, submission happens!  “And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.””  Part of our devotion is a heart fully submitted to God’s will and work.  Not my will.  Not my will.

I want to end this week by quoting the last paragraph of the chapter.  It is a clear challenge to men to stand up and be men.  “The reason many men never have an effective devotional life is, they never plan for it.  They do not know what it is because they have never taken the time to find out.  They do not pray because they do not set aside the time.  Their character never rises to that of Christ’s because they do not expose their lives to His pure light.  Their wills stay crooked because they do not tie into Him.  The question for prayerless men is a very masculine one:  Are we man enough to meditate? To confess? To adore? To submit? To sweat and endure?”

Wow!  . . . So are we?

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Discipline of Mind – Ch. 6

Posted on March 16, 2012 by Pastor Ron

Yesterday as I was driving my 1st grader to school, we were practicing his spelling words and talking.  I was amazed at what his young mind was absorbing and learning both in school and in life.  I’m pretty sure he will be a better speller than I am!  Our brains are amazing creations from God Almighty.  This week’s chapter in Disciplines of a Godly Man speaks to the need to discipline our minds.  God has given us the gift of our minds, but do we use it to glorify God or do we waste the input we are putting into it? Reading this was a great opportunity to assess and evaluate what inputs I am letting into my mind.  Hughes referenced a principle we taught in the computer science department.  GIGO.  Garbage In, Garbage Out.  This principle is not only true in computer programming, but also with our minds.  So what are we putting in?

Hughes begins by reminding us that while the mind is an amazing gift, it is only by the work of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit that we can train it and have the mind of Christ.  Two verses are helpful here.  1 Cor 2:16 says, “For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.“  Roman 12:1-2 also says, “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”  We then have the foundation for disciplining our minds.  If we are to transform and discipline our minds, it must be through seeking God and stamping out ways we are conforming to the world.

I am challenged by the quote, “the great scandal of today’s church: Christians without Christian minds, Christians who do not think Christianly.”  Many times we are content with just being Christians, putting on the show of praying and worshiping like we think we are supposed to, and we do not think as Christians.  Do we have a worldview that reflects Christ and His character, or are we content with floating along in the current of worldly culture blissfully ignorant of the falls just ahead?  We need to guard our heart as the wellspring of life meaning guarding carefully the input we put into it.

Hughes then takes us to Phil 4:8 as instruction for what to put into our mind and what to intentionally dwell on.  “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. “  This verse is a command men.  Think about these things.  Choose to focus our thoughts on these things.  This verse becomes a filter by which we can evaluate virtually every form of input we put into our mind.  If we truly obeyed this verse, many things that are part of our normal routine would be gone, completely and utterly gone.  “A Christian mind is impossible without the discipline of refusal.”  So what are we to reject?  Hughes rephrases the verse in the negative and hits us hard.  “Finally, brothers, whatever is untrue, whatever is ignoble, whatever is wrong, whatever is impure, whatever is unlovely, whatever is unadmirable – if there is anything shoddy or unworthy of praise – do not think about these things.”  Wow, that should challenge us to go back to the gym and train harder.  By way of application, Hughes asks us to consider the input of TV.  How much time do we spend watching TV as opposed to distinctively biblical mental training.  He says absolutely that it is impossible to have a Christian mind if the bulk of our time is spent watching TV.  “A Biblical mental program cannot coexist with worldly programming.”  When we begin to see worldly input like TV, movies, and music, as a c0ncerted effort to program us in a worldly way, then we move another step towards healthy discernment.

Hughes then gives us two ways to intentionally program our minds and I will add two more.  The first and most important is scripture.  If we are serious about forming a Christian mind, we will be serious about reading God’s Word.  In fact, it is impossible to feed a Christian worldview without consistent time in God’s Word.  I whole-heartedly agree with Hughes when he said “You can never have a Christian mind without reading the Scriptures regularly because you cannot be profoundly influenced by that which you do not know.”  I appreciate his caution to not treat Bible reading as a legalistic list.  If it is just something we check off and read as fast as we can, we lose the power of God’s Word.  I would rather men take their time and truly ingest a paragraph rather than read and miss several chapters.  I love Hughes’ reference to Peanuts.  “As Lucy told Charlie Brown: ‘I just completed a course in speed reading and last night I read War and Peace in one hour! . . .  It was about Russia.’”  Men, God’s Word is not a task to be accomplished, but fuel to transform our minds.  Appreciate it.  Chew it.  Know it.  If you are looking for a reading plan to read through or listen through, check out the rooted reading plan a number are going through at Village.

The second input that Hughes recommends is to be reading Christian literature.  In this way we can reap the benefit from the study and lives of godly men and women that have gone before us.  God has been at work in people’s lives since the beginning of time.  May we not neglect what He has done or what has been learned before us.  The fact that you are reading this book is exactly what we are talking about.  When we read, we are challenged in ways we would rarely think of.  Hughes says, “to deny ourselves the wealth of the accumulated saints of the centuries is to consciously embrace spiritual anorexia.”  So what are you reading?  Keep in mind that reading Christian literature is not to replace reading our Bibles, but to be in addition to it.

Two other ways to program our minds and solidify Christian thinking that I would add would be to discuss scriptural truths and to teach them.  When we discuss biblical truths with each other, we are refining each other and helping each other think.  Every believer is indwelt by the Holy Spirit and God may use your thoughts to spur my thoughts and visa versa.  In this way we disciple each other and correct each other.  It is far too easy to color the things I think I am learning with my own ideas, thoughts, desires, and bents.  Discussing these with a brother in Christ allows for correction and feedback.  This blog is a great opportunity to tune this discipline.  Take a moment to comment below.  What helps you tune your mind to a godly worldview?

Teaching biblical truths also is a fantastic way to develop a Christian mind.  I can remember many times when I thought I knew a concept, but then when I had to teach it to someone else, I realized how little I knew.  It is absolutely true that the teacher usually gets more out of the lesson than the hearer.  When we take the time to prepare, understand, and then present God’s truths, we are training our minds to be godly.  Men, we need more teachers!  Aspire to know God’s Word so that you can teach God’s Word.

This chapter was a great reminder of Garbage In, Garbage Out.  What are you filling your mind with today?  Let’s take our minds to the gym!

We’d love to discuss this chapter together in the comments below.  What challenged you the most?  Which item in Phil 4:8 do you think is the most challenging in our culture?  What is something you’ve read recently that has trained you in godliness?

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Discipline of Friendship – Ch. 5

Posted on March 8, 2012 by Andrew Gilmore

While we’ve been reading Disciplines of a Godly Man (DGM), I’ve also been reading The Masculine Mandate (MM) by Richard Phillips. Both of these books are on the list our high school guys must read in order to go to Wildwood this summer. It just so happened (pssst, I don’t believe in coincidences, do you?) that the week I told Ron I would post on the blog about the discipline of friendship in DGM was the very same week that I was reading a chapter called “Men in Friendship” in MM! Consequently, I’m full of ideas and principles and conviction! So let’s dive in!

Hughes’ bit on architecture was an indictment of our culture and I felt the brunt of it as I realized my own focus on stuff. The ways our homes are designed tell the story of how much we value me over we. I was particularly struck by the statement that we so often don’t even know our neighbors. That struck far too close to home for me. I realized I don’t know the names of the four people that live next door to me. That’s shameful. How inwardly focused must I be to not even know their names?! Thank God for the many people in our church who practice the gift of hospitality God has given them. This opens up avenues for friendships to form, blossom and grow!

Next, was the section on how few men have actual friendships: “only 10% of men ever have any real friends.” Wow. Read it again. Wow. That’s incredible. That’s depressing. That’s wrong. What about you? Do you have real friends or just one real friend? I thought one important point was that sometimes we fear that people will see us as homosexuals. This is true and I bet we’ve all felt this way. Perhaps we shouldn’t care so much about what other people think about us and instead see their questions as opportunities to share about our faith, our church and/or the God-man that we love and serve.

By using Jesus as an example, Hughes points out that real men (for Jesus was the manliest of men!) surround themselves with close friends to be intimately close to. Think about it: Jesus chose 12 guys to be on a three-year road trip with him. They walked together, ate together, ministered together, prayed together. They lived life together in a mutually intimate way that we would be quick to scorn if only it weren’t Jesus! Hughes is right in saying that friendship is not optional. We “need Christian male friends who have a same-sex understanding of the serpentine passages of your heart.”

This leads into the example of David and Jonathan. While reading through The Masculine Mandate, Phillips used David and Jonathan as his primary example of biblical male friendship as well! It is a particularly good example, as Hughes points out, because both Jonathan and David were manly men. They were warriors. I loved these sentences: “Blood-covered Jonathan was one tough hombre!” “Blood-smeared stood holding the great gory head [of Goliath], talking calmly with Jonathan’s father, Saul.” Hughes’ description of these two men is helpful to us, especially because Jonathan and David were likely 30 years apart, a challenge to our idea of peer-only friendships. The example is also outstanding because there is no doubt that these two men should have been jealous rivals looking each to undermine the other. Instead, they demonstrated five character qualities that I will now briefly comment on:

  • Mutuality – These two men shared a common fierce love of Yahweh, the God of Israel. However different their personalities or interests may have been, they shared something far deeper. Likewise, we share a common bond with the Christian men in our church: the blood of Jesus has paid for our sin and washed us anew! We are blood brothers in the truest sense! Let this cause us to overlook all the petty requirements we normally put in the way of being friends with other men.
  • Love – Now we tread on weird ground for American males. It’s okay to love our wives, our daughters, our mothers, our sisters, our sports teams, our cars, but somehow it’s not okay to love our guy friends. Frankly, that’s ridiculous, especially considering the previous paragraph on mutuality. We must sincerely love each other with a God-given love that is deep and abiding.
  • Commitment – This principle is described as “my life for your life.” We see this illustrated in Jonathan’s astonishing covenant with David. Jonathan was the son of the king, the prince of Israel, the heir to the throne! And yet he humbled himself and covenanted with a young shepherd boy, committing his own life and the life of his family into David’s hands. I thought it was unfortunate that Hughes used Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan to demonstrate this, as it completely goes against the grain of the book by using women as the example. Oh well. The point is that we must be committed to each other. To quote the great philosophers at Disney, “We’re all in this together.”
  • Loyalty – My father was especially big on the character quality of loyalty, which is part of the reason why I’m a die-hard Raiders, Lakers and A’s fan! And I say that semi-seriously because so many sports “fans” just jump on the nearest bandwagon of the Super Bowl-World Series-Championship winners. Those fans have not starved through long years (even decades!) of losing and still stayed by their teams, putting up with mockery and heartbreak. Okay, so you non-sports lovers think I’m an idiot now. Maybe. Or maybe there is a nugget of truth in our oft-shifting loyalties that inevitably leads to disloyalty to those left behind. As Hughes points out, “Loyalty is indispensable to the survival of friendship.” Jonathan was disloyal to his own father and even to his own chance at kingship (1 Sam. 20:31) in order to be loyal to David, which was in fact being loyal to the sovereign God who had chosen David as the man after his own heart.
  • Encouragement – Often we think of women being encouragers and perhaps we subtly think that that’s the way God made them. But the Bible consistently calls us to encourage (1 Thess. 4:18, 5:11; 1 Tim. 5:1; Heb. 10:24-25) and we can do this if we are involved with friends that encourage us and that also need encouragement. This is of course more than a mere slap on the back accompanied by platitudes. It should be an encouragement to look to God to strengthen a brother in God.

The chapter ends with a call to prayer, friendliness, work, affirmation, listening, acceptance and hospitality. I’ve already burdened you with more than enough summary and commentary but let me briefly say that while searching for friends it is imperative that we are friendly ourselves. We shouldn’t do this in a fake, manipulative sense, but in a prayerful and concerned way as we work at making, keeping and building friendships.

Let me end with Hughes’ words to all of us: “If you are a regular church attender but do no more than attend morning worship, you are depriving yourself and the church of the friendship so desperately needed by all.” Men, come to church to receive and to give. There are many ways of doing this: getting involved in ministry at Village, joining a community group, asking an older/younger man to lunch in order to start a discipling/mentoring relationship, offering ideas for men’s ministry, attending Village events, etc. There are so many ways to do this, but it will take initiative and work on our part! God has made us his friends, let’s make friends with God’s friends!

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Discipline of Fatherhood – Ch. 4

Posted on March 2, 2012 by Pastor Ron

As we come to chapter 4, I pray you have been as challenged as I have.  It has been encouraging to hear the responses both online and in person.  In chapter 4, Hughes continues to hit us over the head as he addresses fatherhood.  He begins by showing the power a father wields in his children’s lives.  As we expand our understanding of the power we have in our children’s lives, we heighten our motivation because of the importance of the task.  I think of the movie line, “with great power comes great responsibility.”  Hughes says, “Men, the mere fact of fatherhood has endowed you with terrifying power in the lives of your sons and daughters, because they have an innate, God-given passion for you.” He continues, “Men, as fathers you have such power!  You will have this terrible power till you die, like it or not – in your attitude toward authority, in your attitude toward women, in your regard for God and the Church.”  While these statements may sound like they are over-the-top at first, I wholeheartedly agree with them.  We must never underestimate the power of a father as our society has.  This is a call to give up much to be a godly influence in our children’s lives.  “There are few places where sanctified sweat will show greater dividends than in fathering.”  What an important reminder when I am tempted to spend time doing so many other things.

The bulk of the chapter is then divided into things a father should not do and should do in a manner similar to Eph 6:4,  Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.  This provides an effective checklist to evaluate ourselves as fathers.  First the do nots which are oh so easy to fall into.

  • Criticism – An all to easy way to provoke our children to exasperation and anger is through criticism.  We often come by it so naturally because of how we interact with other men at work or in competition.  However, when we criticize our children, we are planting discouragement.  Col 3:21 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.“  In other words, they lose heart.We must be very careful with our words.  Hughes is not saying that we should never discipline or correct as we will see later in the chapter.  Rather, we must guard our tone when we discipline.  I would also add to this section by warning against sarcasm and our tone when we kid around.  Sarcasm may be humorous to us, but to our children, who are often unable to separate sarcasm from truth, we may be inadvertently wilting their hearts and teaching disrespect.
  • Overstrictness – I love Hughes’ comparison that “rearing children is like holding a wet bar of soap – too firm a grasp and it shoots from your hand, too loose a grip and it slides away.”  We can easily become overstrict as we seek to protect our children and as we seek to step in and discipline to protect our wives.  These are godly aspirations, but we must learn that domination does not accomplish these tasks.  Rather we must learn to loosen our grip when appropriate and trust God with our children.  When we do hold a firmer grip, we should be able to show how our stance is directly rooted in God’s Word and comes from His authority rather than our own need to be in control.  (Which we actually aren’t!)  “Learn to hold their lives with God’s pressure and to mold it with His love.”
  • Irritability – How many times do we let our hard days and challenges spill like poison onto our children?  This section was especially convicting to hear as I think of times I have fought frustration with my children.  Our kids deserve our attention and response.  They did not cause our difficult days, nor do they comprehend that a difficult day at work might be why daddy is acting so poorly.  They just know that we are treating them like they don’t matter.
  • Inconsistency – This section is a good reminder that children are exasperated by inconsistency.  We often talk about consistency in discipline, but it also is needed with the promises we make.  How well do we do at following through with things we’ve said to our children even in passing.  They definitely remember!  They say, “Daddy, you said . . .” Our answer needs to be, “yes I did, let’s go do that.”
  • Favoritism – Great care must be taken to show that we do not favor, care, or love one of our children more than the others.  Yes, we do need to train and discipline each one differently, but we must not allow any of them to feel “less loved.”

Hughes then moves to the “do’s” of fatherhood.  How do we bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord?

  • Tenderness – The first “do” that Hughes mentions is tenderness which is taken from the phrase “bring them up” in Eph 6:4.  The idea is to nourish or feed, kindly cherishing our children.  Can we be gentle, kind, and affectionate with our children as men?  Absolutely!  That gentle care models to our children God’s care and love for us as His adopted children.  If the God of the Universe can love me and show grace and tenderness to me, then it is completely manly to show the same to our children.
  • Discipline – “The tragedy is that so many men have left this to their children’s mothers.”  I must agree with Hughes’ statement.  It can be difficult to step into the discipline process when we get home from work and just want to crash, but our wives need us.  It can be difficult to be confident in our role as fathers when we have not been with the kids all day and feel like our wives know them better at that moment.  Do it anyway!  God has called us to pastor our families.  Embrace that role.
  • Instruction – We are to be teaching and training our children to walk with God.  Hughes gives some practical suggestions that are helpful.  We must be:
    • Involved in verbally instructing our children.
    • Regularly leading them in family devotions and prayer.
    • Monitoring and being responsible along with our wives for the input that enters their impressionable minds.
    • Taking responsibility to help assure that church is a meaningful experience.
    • Above all, we must make sure that the open book of our lives – our example – demonstrates the reality of our instruction, for in watching us they will learn the most.

Two lists – great reminders.  As I think of each one I can think of times of failure and times of success.  I pray that God will mold me to be a father that reflects Christ to my children.  Hughes says, “time is the chrysalis of eternity.”  He is speaking of the fact that the moments we have with our children will echo into eternity.  Am I teaching my children to love God, serve Him, and share Him with others?  That is a great reason to “sweat for your children’s souls.”  Let’s give up our selfishness and sweat for our kids.  Which item do you want to work on most this week men?  I challenge you to share one way God spoke to you through this chapter and uphold each other in prayer.

 

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